Barry Bright: Gorillas with guns

Hollyweird has proven one thing: monkeys never run out of ammo. Not once during the latest version of Planet of the Apes did I see a simian do a magazine change.

The director did however make sure to include at least a couple of dramatic clicking sounds for a weapon that should have already been in battery. This usually drives me batty but since it only happened twice with this flick I’ll give them a pass.

I went to see Dawn of the Planet of the Apes because the originals were shown on the weaponvision when I was a sixth grader or so and I was fascinated with the concept. A girl in front of me in class liked the movies and we’d talk about them a lot. Don’t remember a thing we said but we were sixth graders.

Without throwing out any spoilers, the script is predictable to a point with a couple of unexpected turns but the same themes are there, Ape vs. man who is also part ape so they suffer from most of the same foibles, bad nature, whatever. Neither group can blindly trust it’s own members though some fall into the trap of thinking they can until human/ape nature proves them wrong.

Somehow the writers avoided the great political correctness of our day: There were no gay apes, tranny apes, or apes applying for marriage licenses(permission to get married). No hand holding by male apes. It was pretty much nuclear family type stuff, type A males and scared sheeple followers, on both the human and ape sides.

Some have claimed ‘gun control’ was a thread that ran through the picture and it could be interpreted that way but for once I’ll give Hollyweird a break and just say that if you watch the flick to the end and think about it the two main characters portray the qualities any leader should: level headedness, fairness, and in the end a healthy respect for the inadequacies of his own species.

One human character was patterned more than a little after what most “Liberal”(commie) trash would consider to be a hard corps conservative ‘Rah Rah ‘Murica can’t trust the enemy cause they hurt us’ type. Let’s face it, many of them are like that. Most of them are Romney voters and think we can send enough bombs to mountain caves to solve our problems. So I have to give them a pass for that too because the guy did do a smart thing in a stupid way and got caught and almost cost the lives of his compatriots.

History shows if you’re a Jew you don’t run down the street in 1943 Berlin screaming “I’m a Jew and I have a right to be a Jew,” without expecting some consequences. When the apes tell you ‘no guns’ you’d better practice deep concealment or be ready to face the consequences, or be ready to shoot apes.

FK – At least some of the flick is based in reality:

FK – Apes obviously don’t have access to YouTube:

FK – This guy has more to say about it than I want to bother with. I just wanted to enjoy the movie for once, well not really, but it does make me feel better that he doesn’t know the difference between an elk and a deer:

FK – …and don’t pick on Keri Russell, she’s still hot.